Stuff I shouldn't be doing instead actually doing anything work related.

It's time to let you in on the workings of my brain and my day at work in general. Herein lay random thoughts and feelings that are on my mind as I drudge through a long day at work, such as last Sunday. Hopefully you will learn something or get a cheap thrill out of this.

I should start at the beginning. I arrived at 1 PM to work, ready to face the day. But seeing as I was going to be alone for 8 hours, I needed to make it feel like home. This is where I decided "Hell, why not bring a little piece of me in?" Bobblehead in place, I now needed sound to kill the silence. I plug in my MP3 player into the radio. TrippFM is on the air. After hanging my keys adorned with my personal lord and savior on the shelf, I am ready for work.

Welcome to the Top Shelf. Here's your menu.

Being Sunday, an empty house is not uncommon. Hours pass by before my next order comes up. This is where we peek into my mind...

Fueled by day's old Domino's Pizza and fresh from making croutons, I reach for an extremely long oven mitt, which I sometimes wonder "Am I grabbing a hot pan or is this used to check a bull's prostate?" Rest asured though; it's used to check horse prostates.

We now move on to this mother fucker. The MICROS machine is the main link of communication between the front (servers, bartenders) and back (cooks) of the house. It sends what the customer wants to us and we make it. However, it is a Love-Hate relationship; when you're slow, its a break from the hum drums. When you're busy, it never seems to stop, especially at closing when you'd rather go home and get some fucking sleep. Alas, it is a nessecary evil that exists.

Of course, restaurants do lie. A LOT. Prime example: Chicken fingers. That is a breaded chicken tenderloin. This is a finger. Chickens do not have "fingers." When will we quit feeding this bullshit to our kids? Also, our sauteed veggies are not sauteed; theyre more like pan-fried. We are truly sorry.

The boredom continues with the soda fountain. Being the curious fellow I am, i took Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Root Beer, Sierra Mist and Dr. Pepper into one slightly green-hued concoction. When tasted, it had a strong hit of black cherry. Write that down; only 22 more flavors in Dr. Pepper to go.

The most fun thing ever though is washing dishes.

... Oh shit, my sarcasm detector broke! Anyway, we have a 3-compartment sink to do dishes and I occasionally like to do stupid shit like this. This is a metaphor for how my life is when I work here. My life goes down the drain for all to watch and go "WTF."

Soon enough though business picks up and the night flys by. I clean the kitchen up for the next day and at 9:30 PM declare the Kitchen's Closed Due To AIDS.

So thats my thought processes when I should be productive. I now leave you with this cro-bar made out of aluminum foil ad tears of boredom.